Two years ago today, I went live on Facebook and hit PUBLISH on my website. Perhaps the most audacious act of my entire existence, I dove into a genre filled with the young, fabulous, filtered, and photoshopped.
How dare I? The voices in my head were RELENTLESS. Who did I think I was, purporting to be an expert on anything? Why me? I’m just a middle-aged MOM. This project I’d dreamed of for over five years was finally live and all I wanted to do was puke.
Yet when I slowed my breath, there was a teensy little YOP! like Jojo, the tiniest who in WHOVILLE, telling Horton “We are HERE!” My dreams, my goals, my unique vision were there, in the mix, trying desperately to be heard over the din of my insecurities.
Super Powers and Muses
I focused on moxie, my superpower. Feminist yet feminine, a badass with empathy, I determined that I had things to say that perhaps others needed to hear.
I cast the net wide my first year. Hoping to be all things to all people, I tried everything. It became a bit daunting and chaotic, all this disruption. Year two, I narrowed the field. My “word” that year was fruition and I honed in on my vision even further. With my GODDESS coach/web designer/and soul sister, Katherine Keller, I fleshed out my audience. Who would I speak to? Who is the Moxie Mama?
Defining the Moxie Mama
I named her Maxine. She is me, but not. The visual muse for her is my great-grandmother, Mama Florence. She was fashionable, a little (a lot) eccentric, and made her way in the world without much education. I learned moxie at her feet, and she had it in spades.
I’m not quite prepared to share all of Maxine yet. Maxine has some significant vulnerabilities that would shock most people. She is far less confident than you’d think, and she works hard to push through it while inspiring others to find their own inner badass. That said, it’s important to share some of her foundation with you if I’m going to level up in Moxie Mama 3.0. So here goes:
Maxine has kids in high school with maybe some older or younger. She has put her family first for years but is freaking out about the impending empty nest. She loves her kids and thinks they like her back. Her family genuinely enjoys each other. They like to adventure, try new things.
She loves to learn. Maxine is constantly curious and doesn’t like INCURIOUS people. She has become sort of a jack of all trades over the years. Like she can sound like a total expert on many subjects that interest her. But she sucks at balancing a checkbook because it’s boring. She’s the queen of the bucket list mentality.
Moxie Mama 3.0
This all happened prior to October of last year. That’s when I lost one of my dearest friends and greatest cheerleaders, my sister-in-law, Laura. She made everyone in her universe feel safe and pushed them to be totally fearless. Losing her was a punch in the gut, a crippling pain that is only just starting to lessen a touch. Shrinking into my doubts and my grief doesn’t honor this incredible woman, so I dig in now, I persist.
2019’s word is resilience. The negative voices quiet and I hear from you all that you like this space, that it resonates with you. My muse, my guardian angel, and my coach push me along. And I am excited for what’s to come including more fashion, more about WELLNESS, and some epic giveaways…
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