This is the 2017 version of a piece I published a couple years ago.
Moxie Mama is about reclaiming that courage and boldness from perhaps another time of our lives. One absolute truth about any goal-setting, however, is that we will have setbacks. Life, particularly for a mom, WILL get in the way.
What to do about it?
How are we all doing on those New Year’s resolutions? Have you had great success? Is YOUR life in the perfect balance of family/career/personal fulfillment? I’m sure you are fit, wealthy, and inspiring others by now!
Like most of us, this time of year prompts either surrender of those goals we have set, or a growing frustration with how to do it. Maybe the New Year’s resolution sees a bit of a new life with Lent, but really–that’s short-lived as well. I admit, I haven’t had that “a-ha” moment yet where everything clicked into place: where I secured ten new clients and four speaking engagements, am bikini-ready, and won the powerball.
It’s been HARD. I can’t say it any other way. I make business appointments and the school calls for me to pickup a kiddo. I plan a healthy meal and my family begs for comfort food instead. I commit to a kettlebell class and the dog gets super needy and needs to play instead. Especially challenging this year is a double-whammy/chronically ill child for whom I had to go to war with the doctors AND the decision to launch my personal brand as a blog and website.The list is endless and frustrating some days. Our respite on days trapped indoors soured, too. The 2017 political landscape has brought out the worst in so many people and social media, once a landscape for motivation, puppies, and funny memes has become ceaselessly bitter. Except…
Except my job involves gorgeous luxury clothes. Except I received an email from a client telling me she loves the new style and wardrobe we are building for her. Except we celebrated our boys’ hard-earned report cards after a tough term. Except that adorable dog runs me around my neighborhood and burns a ton of calories all on his furry own. Except the MANY women I know who persevere in the face of daunting odds inspire me daily. Except this political strife actually connected me to some of the most incredible people (and a new mentor!) in arenas I never would have without it. Except except except.
So I started to think ACCEPT instead. Can I change people’s “stuff” that’s keeping them from meeting with me? No. Accept and move on. Can I stop the storms that keep clients from coming to a trunk show? I wish, but no. Accept and dance in the rain with the kids–a precious impromptu moment–then find a way to meet my clients when and where they can.Can I change someone else’s mind about their staunch political beliefs? Likely no, but I can accept my friends for who they are, respect their decisions and do my part to understand. Will my kids eat healthy? HA! But I can accept that they are old enough now to make their own choices and I’ll make my own healthy meal when I can.
Sometimes obstacles are given to us, sometimes we create our own, but there is always a right and wrong reaction to them. Giving bad circumstances any more thought than acceptance gives it POWER over YOUR OWN success.
I remember a parable I read many years ago. It’s about challenge, using a carrot, an egg, and a coffee bean in boiling water as examples. The carrot, sweet but strong, softens in the water. The egg defends itself by hardening on the inside. It is the coffee which changes the adverse condition and turns the hot water into something BETTER. It’s a footnote to the serenity prayer: accept the things you cannot change, but be bold enough to change the things you cannot accept.
I don’t claim that I am positive and hopeful every day, but I’m trying. Some days are hard, but my desire to create an AMAZING LIFE is stronger. I’ll put on my favorite new outfit, go get a cup of coffee, and know that tomorrow is going to be GREAT.