Disconnecting to Reconnect
This started as a Father’s day post–sneaking away with the hubby/he’s a great dad/appreciation thing–but turned into something a bit more.
After a WHIRLWIND weekend of graduation, a state volleyball championship WIN, Conman’s grad party, and a volleyball banquet, we and our kids were a bit fried. Fabulous things all around, but as I mentioned before, graduation was an emotional time on top of just being BUSY.
Fortunately, I got through it with far fewer tears than predicted and so much JOY. But also…
Fatigue. I’ve made no secret about the toll of this past school year. I know, I know, we ALL have our STUFF, and I guess that is the ultimate point of this post (which, I promise, I’m getting to), that our whole society is run ragged and, as a result, emotionally and socially disconnected. Our family’s unexpected loss is no different than your chronic illness, someone else’s aging parents, etc. In the throes of raising kids, sports, lessons, work, home improvements….well, you get it.
Himself and I decided it was time to sneak away. With the boys heading off to Cedar Point with friends for a few days, we wanted to get away GROWNUP style. It had been a minute since we traveled sans kids.
Pausing here for a minute because I lied right there. It has been NINE YEARS. Nine years since we took the time to really just focus on us. No kids. No work. No timeline. We managed one sneakaway a few years ago, but honestly it was for a conference and I don’t count that. Because work.
When I realized HOW LONG it had been, I considered all the club sports, kids’ priorities, etc, that had eaten up our once-treasured time. Don’t get me wrong, I would not change a THING about the way we chose to raise our kids, but now that they’re so independent, it is time to take back US (Mr. and Mrs.) separate from US (the clan).
Most of our friends are in the same boat. SOMETHING always comes up when we dream of getting away. Yet, sometime very soon, we will have an empty nest and prioritizing OUR connections matters most.
So we went away. Just two hours east of home is the Omni Bedford Springs resort. It provided a gorgeous, quiet, historical backdrop to sleeping in, drinking champagne, and getting spa treatments. We hiked. We napped in a hammock. We connected.
Our boys checked in once a day with each of us, and we trusted them. They, too, needed a break from us and a chance to test some independence and responsibility. Six teens stayed in a lake cottage where they cooked their own dinner, cleaned and stripped beds upon checkout, and managed their vacation budgets.
The lesson learned is not only is it ok to take time away, but it is the RIGHT THING TO DO. This three day disconnect was selfcare for ALL OF US. Not just the R&R Himself and I had at the spa, but in allowing the separation, we all learned that the sky won’t fall in the next phase. When we returned, we heard great stories about their trip and bonding as brothers on their own. They may believe we were bored without them, but we (wink) know we weren’t.
Take the time with your partner. Get away. Whether your kids are little or almost flown like mine, IT MATTERS!
Later this weekend I’ll be sharing ALL THE DETAILS about our amazing getaway and the not-to-be-missed resort!
Suzana Barton
I don’t have children, but I still benefited from reading this article. It’s so easy to get over-scheduled and neglect self care. Thanks for the great reminders!