You…hey you! The strong and beautiful woman there. You seem anxious. Maybe a little sad

Are you turning 50? That’s fabulous!  Yay, YOU!

You say you feel tired, old? Less attractive?  Maybe a little scared for this next phase?

Yeah, I know. Back when we were young and gravity had nothing on us, 50 seemed old, but it’s not.

I am not going to tell you 50 is the new 30. It is far from that and it is SO MUCH BETTER.

50 is the new 50!  It is a time to celebrate our knowledge, our wisdom, our strength against the challenges and losses we have endured. At 50, we can edit out the bullshit and focus on what matters most. We can thrive!

Why is it different for us than our parents?  Born in 1970, we grew up with Mr. Rogers teaching us how to be kind. We are the generation of “Schoolhouse Rock” and the great American melting pot. We learned from MTM, Rhoda and that girl that we can be empowered and feminine.  We had Wonder Woman to aspire to. We were raised to fix it ourselves, have empathy for everyone, and be our best.

We work…or we don’t. Or we work from home in a career we have created to fit our lives.  We have had options our mothers didn’t. We strive for balance and have pretty much learned that balance also means stagnation, so maybe a little chaos is acceptable. We prioritize self care instead of balance when it’s all too much.

At 50, we are re-evaluating what the next decades will be. Our kids are almost grown. Will it mean change or just adventure?  Do we Travel?  Do we downsize?

It’s a gift at 50 to re-visit our youthful dreams. Right now, have a long conversation with 85-year-old you about her regrets. What did she leave on the table, what dream unfulfilled? ASK what held her back at 50 and MAKE THAT CHANGE.

The physical?  Yeah that can really suck. On the flip side, we KNOW at 50 what we need to do, and just have to dig in. Don’t like the number on the scale?  Feel tired? Change it. Seeing some extra wrinkles and gray hairs?  There are ways to improve that and no shame in doing so. Jennifer Lopez is 50 too.  If you think she looks like that without help, you’re wrong. Embrace the lines or get the botox–the good news is you have options.

Want to look sexy?  Go for it!  The rules of our grandmothers are long gone.  Keep your hair long and wear leather pants and Doc Martens with a concert tee when you want to rock it out.  Feel like being comfortable?  Do that.  Still not sure exactly WHAT your personal style IS?  Find out and go BIG with it.  If it works for you and works in your life, it can be your style.

My GOD we have LIVED!  We don’t need to fear the over-the-hill birthday cards and black balloons. Rejoice in your AARP card and the benefits inherent in it. Yes,  there are medical milestones at 50 that stink (colonoscopy I am talking to YOU), but it’s also a chance to audit our health and adjust where needed.

Speaking of audits—who is in your circle? I bet that’s changed in the past 20 years, and all for the better. You don’t put up with nastiness or negativity anymore. Protecting your energy and boundaries like a mother bear, you have graduated from much of the bullshit of PTA and the mean girls table.

Empathy earned from watching your kids navigate the waters of middle school and social media rules your everyday actions.  You know that everyone has a struggle and proceed with kindness, receiving nothing less in return.  Crying together, sitting in silence, or cheering from the sidelines, your squad supports you, and you support them.

You are a QUEEN, and you know what queens do in their 50th year?  They have a JUBILEE. They celebrate—often for the whole year.

50 is their year–not 30, or even 40 years on the throne.  Half a century marks the point at which she has reached wisdom worthy of celebration, just like you.

So friend, put on your crown, remember who you are, and reign mightily. This is our JUBILEE.